I'm sure I have this completely wrong so please don't take everything I say in this post as fact or even an educated assumption...it's purely a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side."
I am loving being a mom. I get to wake up to a sweet little boy who is so smiley once I walk in the room (sometimes that smile is accompanied by grunts and whines, he's very conflicted about his emotions sometimes) and I have the joy of watching him grow day by day. I really wouldn't trade this for the world.....
But sometimes a little voice in my head tries to tell me that it would be so much easier to have a job and let someone else take care of baby boy for the day. Again I'm not saying that I honestly believe it would be easier. I can't imagine working a full work day then coming home and taking care of my baby and my house!
But wouldn't those few hours of sitting at a desk and not having to entertain a baby be so comfy?
My past work experience has been pretty cozy. I landed all of the great jobs where I wasn't stressed out and never had to bring any work home with me, physically or mentally. So my idea of work is probably a little skewed. I know from talking with my husband that working a "real" job and then coming home to a fussy (or even happy) baby can be hard.
But to get to talk with adults all day and not have piles of laundry or dishes staring you in the face! Out of sight out of mind right? (I'm sure that's really not the case since those things would just keep piling up while you're at work.)
Despite how great that all sounds when I'm about to pull my hair out as Des wakes us from another 20 minute nap I can't help but feel absolutely blessed that I get to raise my son.
I'm the one that gets to teach him right from wrong and his ABC's. I get to be the one who sees all his smiles and hears his giggles. I get to see my son every single day and grow right along side him as a mom.
It's tough. I'm not just sitting around eating grapes off the vine and having someone fan me while my sweet child plays ever so quietly in his excersaucer (though if someone would like to come do that for me I wouldn't object) I know some people have that view point of stay at home moms. Instead I'm trying to spend time with my baby and soak up as much of his joy as possible while running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to clean my house, make dinner, do the laundry, grocery shop, keep in contact with friends and find a minute or two to just sit down and eat my lunch (When is the last time I did that!?) Not everyday is hard, but there are some toughies from time to time (and I only have one kid! I am terrified about the second!)
Not everyone has the opportunity to stay at home and raise their child. (I have my opinions on that which I'm sure I will write about someday when I get up the nerve to say what is so very unpopular.) And so I am going to look at this as a gift and be ever so thankful each day that I get to witness every little thing about my child's childhood.
Even if dressing up and getting out the door to sit at a desk sounds a little better sometimes ;)
This is all I've ever wanted in life, seriously. I struggled with school and the idea of college etc. because all I ever had on my heart was to be a wife and mother. It's tough work, but it's the best kind of work.
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