I'm sure I have this completely wrong so please don't take everything I say in this post as fact or even an educated assumption...it's purely a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side."
I am loving being a mom. I get to wake up to a sweet little boy who is so smiley once I walk in the room (sometimes that smile is accompanied by grunts and whines, he's very conflicted about his emotions sometimes) and I have the joy of watching him grow day by day. I really wouldn't trade this for the world.....
But sometimes a little voice in my head tries to tell me that it would be so much easier to have a job and let someone else take care of baby boy for the day. Again I'm not saying that I honestly believe it would be easier. I can't imagine working a full work day then coming home and taking care of my baby and my house!
But wouldn't those few hours of sitting at a desk and not having to entertain a baby be so comfy?
My past work experience has been pretty cozy. I landed all of the great jobs where I wasn't stressed out and never had to bring any work home with me, physically or mentally. So my idea of work is probably a little skewed. I know from talking with my husband that working a "real" job and then coming home to a fussy (or even happy) baby can be hard.
But to get to talk with adults all day and not have piles of laundry or dishes staring you in the face! Out of sight out of mind right? (I'm sure that's really not the case since those things would just keep piling up while you're at work.)
Despite how great that all sounds when I'm about to pull my hair out as Des wakes us from another 20 minute nap I can't help but feel absolutely blessed that I get to raise my son.
I'm the one that gets to teach him right from wrong and his ABC's. I get to be the one who sees all his smiles and hears his giggles. I get to see my son every single day and grow right along side him as a mom.
It's tough. I'm not just sitting around eating grapes off the vine and having someone fan me while my sweet child plays ever so quietly in his excersaucer (though if someone would like to come do that for me I wouldn't object) I know some people have that view point of stay at home moms. Instead I'm trying to spend time with my baby and soak up as much of his joy as possible while running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to clean my house, make dinner, do the laundry, grocery shop, keep in contact with friends and find a minute or two to just sit down and eat my lunch (When is the last time I did that!?) Not everyday is hard, but there are some toughies from time to time (and I only have one kid! I am terrified about the second!)
Not everyone has the opportunity to stay at home and raise their child. (I have my opinions on that which I'm sure I will write about someday when I get up the nerve to say what is so very unpopular.) And so I am going to look at this as a gift and be ever so thankful each day that I get to witness every little thing about my child's childhood.
Even if dressing up and getting out the door to sit at a desk sounds a little better sometimes ;)
This is all I've ever wanted in life, seriously. I struggled with school and the idea of college etc. because all I ever had on my heart was to be a wife and mother. It's tough work, but it's the best kind of work.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
The Ughs and Aws of Mamahood.
The other night I found myself thinking, "Man it was easier when he was a new born! He slept all the time and I got so much done!" And yet I specifically remember thinking back then, "Wow I can't wait until he's a little older and then it will be easier!" So obviously the conclusion is, each stage has its pros and cons. I think I need to start writing them down as I go through life so that I don't forget. That way when I start having baby fever again and all I can think about are those adorable chubby cheeks and sweet coos I'll be able to remember that it's not all fun and games...but still so worth it!! Or when I'm having a melt down because he just wont nap, I can look back and remember that at one point he didn't even sleep at night. So here we go, my list of pros and cons...no, I don't like that, how about my list of Ughs and Aws ;)
Newborn stage: First day-2
Aw: He slept like a rock! Seriously this kid could sleep for hours!
Ughs: Didn't sleep well at night. We're talking every few hours waking up and then another hour or so of rocking back to sleep.
Aw: Could sleep through anything. I could vacuum while holding him and he'd fall right to sleep. I got so much done!
Ughs: Couldn't wake him up for nothing! They say the best way to get them to sleep at night is to keep them up during the day, um duh! But that doesn't work if they are impossible to wake and keep awake.
Ugh: He ate literally every hour on the hour even if he just finished 10 minutes ago. That was the worst week of my life.
Aw: It only lasted a week. It seemed like all eternity but it was only 7 days if that.
Ugh: He screamed every evening for hours unless he was eating.
Aw: That lasted maybe 2 weeks.
Infant stage: 2 months-?
Aw: Those SMILES!!! Des started smiling at week 2 but they are so much more focused and direct now!
Ugh: His naps are way off during the day. He really only wants to be held when napping or else they last maybe 30 minutes at best. (Looking for a few tricks to fix this; fan, black out curtains etc. etc.)
Aw: He sleeps anywhere from 7-8.5 hours at night now. And Mommy appreciates it like you wouldn't believe!
Ugh: Just closing his bedroom door can wake him up. Gone is my little baby that could sleep through anything.
Aw: He's pretty good at going to sleep on his own late at night or super early in the morning.
Ugh: If he wakes up from a nap accidentally he is up and cranky until he eats next.
Aw: Talking!! Oh how fun it is to have a "conversation" with him!! He has so much expression on his face while he's cooing and awing that I'm pretty certain he is really trying to tell us stuff!
Aw: He is a Mama's boy. He smiles and talks to me and I can see all the love in his beautiful blue eyes! It's a special relationship that words just can't explain.
Ugh: He is a Mama's boy... If he's tired he wants me, if he's cranky he wants me, if he's hungry he has to have me, if he's happy he wants me after a few minutes. Day and night, night and day, I am the one he relies on the most. It's pretty special and honoring really but there are times I want to hide for a little while ;) Plus I think it bothers Jay a little.
Aw: He loves exploring new things with his hands and gets excited about new sounds.
Ugh: He eats every 2 hours and he hates bottles which makes it hard to go out and do stuff. We've been to church once since he was born :(
Aw: (I have to end on a positive note) he is the bubbliest, happiest baby I have ever seen. Sure he gets grumpy, but over all he just loves to smile!
That's all I can comment on now since he's currently in the infant stage still. Babies are ALWAYS a joy. Even when he's cranky and wailing I wouldn't have it any other way. It's always easy to look forward and think, "It will be easier.." and it very well may be, but there is always something that is hard no matter how old kids are. And it's easy to look back and think, "man remember when he did this and it was so much easier?" But in all reality there were hard times then too.
I think part of God's grace to mom's is that we can't always remember the hard times so it makes it seem like we've had a pretty good time all along. I can hardly remember labor and delivery anymore. So I'm sure as each stage passes I'll look fondly at Des' childhood and not think back with dread :) Because in all honesty I'm loving every minute of it. The good out ways the bad and some things really do get easier and more fun. Motherhood is an upward climb, but it's a fun one :)
Newborn stage: First day-2
Aw: He slept like a rock! Seriously this kid could sleep for hours!
Ughs: Didn't sleep well at night. We're talking every few hours waking up and then another hour or so of rocking back to sleep.
Aw: Could sleep through anything. I could vacuum while holding him and he'd fall right to sleep. I got so much done!
Ughs: Couldn't wake him up for nothing! They say the best way to get them to sleep at night is to keep them up during the day, um duh! But that doesn't work if they are impossible to wake and keep awake.
Ugh: He ate literally every hour on the hour even if he just finished 10 minutes ago. That was the worst week of my life.
Aw: It only lasted a week. It seemed like all eternity but it was only 7 days if that.
Ugh: He screamed every evening for hours unless he was eating.
Aw: That lasted maybe 2 weeks.
Infant stage: 2 months-?
Aw: Those SMILES!!! Des started smiling at week 2 but they are so much more focused and direct now!
Ugh: His naps are way off during the day. He really only wants to be held when napping or else they last maybe 30 minutes at best. (Looking for a few tricks to fix this; fan, black out curtains etc. etc.)
Aw: He sleeps anywhere from 7-8.5 hours at night now. And Mommy appreciates it like you wouldn't believe!
Ugh: Just closing his bedroom door can wake him up. Gone is my little baby that could sleep through anything.
Aw: He's pretty good at going to sleep on his own late at night or super early in the morning.
Ugh: If he wakes up from a nap accidentally he is up and cranky until he eats next.
Aw: Talking!! Oh how fun it is to have a "conversation" with him!! He has so much expression on his face while he's cooing and awing that I'm pretty certain he is really trying to tell us stuff!
Aw: He is a Mama's boy. He smiles and talks to me and I can see all the love in his beautiful blue eyes! It's a special relationship that words just can't explain.
Ugh: He is a Mama's boy... If he's tired he wants me, if he's cranky he wants me, if he's hungry he has to have me, if he's happy he wants me after a few minutes. Day and night, night and day, I am the one he relies on the most. It's pretty special and honoring really but there are times I want to hide for a little while ;) Plus I think it bothers Jay a little.
Aw: He loves exploring new things with his hands and gets excited about new sounds.
Ugh: He eats every 2 hours and he hates bottles which makes it hard to go out and do stuff. We've been to church once since he was born :(
Aw: (I have to end on a positive note) he is the bubbliest, happiest baby I have ever seen. Sure he gets grumpy, but over all he just loves to smile!
That's all I can comment on now since he's currently in the infant stage still. Babies are ALWAYS a joy. Even when he's cranky and wailing I wouldn't have it any other way. It's always easy to look forward and think, "It will be easier.." and it very well may be, but there is always something that is hard no matter how old kids are. And it's easy to look back and think, "man remember when he did this and it was so much easier?" But in all reality there were hard times then too.
I think part of God's grace to mom's is that we can't always remember the hard times so it makes it seem like we've had a pretty good time all along. I can hardly remember labor and delivery anymore. So I'm sure as each stage passes I'll look fondly at Des' childhood and not think back with dread :) Because in all honesty I'm loving every minute of it. The good out ways the bad and some things really do get easier and more fun. Motherhood is an upward climb, but it's a fun one :)
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